Outside In

I got your message today.

Rumblings of confusion and detached emotions weaved together with a silken web of retreat being digested in a deep aggressive sea of your toxicity.

I heard your discontent as you pointed at my many failings and shortcomings -- with a boney finger worn and old from its constant exposure in the direction of everyone but you.

I stood in your window looking into your life -- my face pressed hard and constant against the brittle and steadfast glass.

I waited patiently for you to pass -- to see me -- banging, scratching, and desperate hands bloodied to let me in.

Your nose stuck in the book of your life so deeply you can’t smell the rotting of my affection left dead on the doorstep -- another casualty of your own personal defiance.

You just passed!  Will you….   Will you…..  No! Don’t ….  go!  You didn’t see me.

Come; visit the labyrinth of my empathy maybe you can find the way out.  I’m stuck blind in a corner desperately reaching out for your guidance -- don’t worry.  I can’t see and you can’t hear.  We’ll be fine.

Did you think that forgiveness is handed out like the number in a butcher shop?

Now serving number 814

I look down at my number…. So far from yours.

Oh, I got your message today…..  Will you get mine?

 

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Perception - New Year or Just Another Day?

Perception really is everything, isn't it?  I mean, people can actually determine your entire outlook on life based on how you see a glass of liquid.  Really?

Have you really ever wondered why it is we feel compelled to make HUGE life changing promises to ourselves and others on a single celebratory day, rather than periodically throughout the year?  Peer pressure is a bitch, isn't it?  Well, worry not.  I did a little research and found a pretty cool article that helps summarize the history of resolutions -- The History of New Years Resolutions.  I mean, that's all well and good, but come on, it's not like it's 153 B.C.

I'm deciding now that rather than spending 12 months making huge goals for myself (that I'll probably fall short on), that I'm going to make small changes every day to help me grow into the person I would want to be friends with or that parent that I'd want to have or the business partner I'd work with.   I want to work on my internal perception.  I'm tired of worrying how others perceive me.

Today, I'm working on that.  My perception -- small changes.  Easy does it.  Besides, I'd hate to change completely over night.  The world can only take one apocalyptic scare this year and the Mayans have that covered.   So, here we go.  Besides, although it's a new year, it's just another day.

L2MB

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Out with the Old & In with the New

Is the end of a year really the best time to start a resolution and promise I'm going to do something I promised I'd do before?  Isn't the impending New Year really just an opportunity to look back at what I haven't done rather than what I have?  Oh, don't worry, I'll do it this time.... right?  

I'll try this again... 

• I've disappointed many and pleased few

• I'm fallible

• I'm not in the shape I'd like to be

• I keep my heart wrapped in a veil of Teflon   

•  My impulsiveness gets the best of me

• I have resilient and beautiful children

• I am in a sound and strong marriage

• I surround myself with amazing people

• I'm willing to learn

 

This year will not be a bad country song.  

Time to cultivate some well thought and achievable goals for myself in the next year. It looks like it's time to start.... 

My year will be light and beautiful.  

 

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